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Animated Atrocities 31/Transcript
I've been getting requests since literally the very beginning. Technically "The Splinter" was request. And I tend to check them out if I can find good enough footage. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't, but the more requests I get, the more that I know that I have to review whatever episode. "SpongeBob, You're Fired!" is my most request episode ever, with dozens of different people asking me about it. of the airdate from the Wikia page of the episode It aired about two weeks ago! And, at present, it is the latest SpongeBob episode to air. I watched it, and... my god.. I'm pretty sure that half my brain exploded...! An episode like this comes around only once in a great while, and when it does, you got to just drop everything and KILL IT WITH FIRE! So, let's see the geniuses behind this one! Hmm, I don't know Ceccarelli, I don't know Brookshier and Doug Lawrence. You know, I wanted to believe that he was a good guy, but with his other works that I've covered, he seems to be the glue that holds the diarrhea shit together. With this one, we're not starting with the episode; we're actually starting with the concept: SpongeBob getting fired. This was really hyped up as a major thing! Here's the problem: on Strike" & "Karate Choppers" at least. SpongeBob has been fired on numerous occasions before! Unless this was supposed to be a series finale, I don't know what the hell the big deal is, but anyway, on to the actual episode. The plot gets off the ground really quick with SpongeBob throwing a piece of paper on the grill. It catches fire, burns down the majority of the Krusty Krab and that forces Mr. Krabs to fire SpongeBob in an actually heart-wrenching scene. No, that would be the RIGHT thing to do. Instead, the plot doesn't seem to want to get started and we're treated to two minutes of extremely boring filler. Yeah, that's one of the bigger problems of the episode. For the majority of this 22 minutes ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS! After that pointlessness, Mr. Krabs comes by and says that SpongeBob is fired for, I'm not kidding here, a FUCKING nickel. Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob You know I love you like a son. But you can't argue with a nickel. And you can't argue with logic, Mr. Krabs! How does firing your best fry cook when to bringing in the majority of customers possibly save ANY money whatsoever!? SpongeBob: stammers But how about if I work for free? Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I looked into that. Apparently, it's air quotes "illegal". And I'll lose my "vendor's license". Doing illegal shit hasn't stopped you before, you fat bastard! Squidward: Hey, what about me? Can I get fired too? Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid not, Squidward. You've got seniority. I thought the corporate scumbag tried to get rid of the employees WITH seniority, because they'd save more money that way! The ways this logically doesn't make any fucking sense are piling up rapidly. And we're pretty much still dealing with the concept here! Then we get a call and visual gags, but they aren't remotely funny! And then, this episode decides to go "A Day Without Tears". We get, I'm not kidding, more than an entire minute that consists of almost nothing but SpongeBob crying, which is, for the record, one of the most annoying sounds in the world. To be fair, there are things going on in the background, but... Old Man Jenkins: on the barrel I'm not a very strong swimmer. YOU'RE A FUCKING FISH!! Eventually, Squidward kicks SpongeBob out and does a bunch of gloating that really makes him seem like an ass! Squidward: 'But now that SpongeBob's gone, who will be running the grill? Yeah, that's a good question considering that neither of you assholes can cook! '''Mr. Krabs: ' I was five times "golden spatula" in the navy. No, you were the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea, and you couldn't even cook peas. We've done all this before! I mean, you guys have ripped off like four episodes already! card of "Mrs. Puff You're Fired" Hell, even the damn title is a ripoff! So, what are we going to ripoff now? '''SpongeBob: '''Hey, Gary, I'm home. Oh no! You'd better not rip off "A Pal for Gary", you better fucking not...! '''SpongeBob: '''Oh, I'm sorry. Here I am wallowing in my misery, and it's past your dinnertime. Holy fucking shit... Nevermind SpongeBob getting fired. Him actually caring about Gary for once in his life? That's what you should have announced as the special! I mean, that's something that I legitimately haven't seen in YEARS! Then, SpongeBob starts crying some more, which is then echoed by Patrick. Oh great, he's in this episode. of Patrick gluing SpongeBob to the wringer with his Forever Glue from "Stuck in the Wringer" This can't be good...! He says he was crying, because SpongeBob was crying. Fan-fucking-tastic! He comes in through the window-- Haha, get it? He didn't use the door!-- Then we get a few throat "jokes" that are just used to pad out the episode. '''SpongeBob: F-f-f-f-f-f-f... Patrick: Frothy frappe? SpongeBob: F-f-f-f... Patrick: I can't think of any more food that starts with the letter "c", SpongeBob. TELL. A. STORY! Barring that, at least only waste 11 minutes of my time! Eventually, SpongeBob admits that he got fired and Patrick tells him that it's great to be unemployed. That's a great lesson for the kids! So, the next day, Patrick is going to teach him the wonders of unemployment. He goes over to SpongeBob's house to see a clever callback to the very first SpongeBob ratings trap. is holding a 'Best Day Ever' mug Oh! And Spongebob looking like a wreck, maybe. Compared to the disturbing faces that the show has shoved in front of me, he actually looks halfway presentable! If this is them trying to gross me out, they're losing their touch. Their first stop is Squidward house. They annoy him to get food tossed at them, which they're used for breakfast. Squidward, for some reason is stupid enough to throw food at BOTH of them. You'd think that Squidward would be esthetic, considering that SpongeBob was FIRED yesterday. I'd expect him to be in a really cheery mood and having a party, or at least AT WORK! If I point out all the fucking plot holes, we'll be here all day. Then, Patrick decides to take a nap. This is a long and tedious segment. Nothing of substance happens... SpongeBob puts snail slime on himself-- gross-- and tries to hook on to the rock. Then, we see him just breathing loudly for... way too fucking long! It's another long portion of nothing happening. Hell, "Waiting" had more of a plot than this stupid episode! I mean, there's one part where SpongeBob eats a part of himself, and it grows back, that's something, right!? Patrick: '''Are you feelin' any better yet? I will when you TELL A FUCKING STORY!! Patrick says that free lunch with friends always cheers him up. So they go to Sandy's Treedome, where some people seem to be eating experimental food. The first guy seems to be allergic to it, then, it completely mutates Patrick. Sandy sees SpongeBob and... up SpongeBob's face Oh, god...! I'm thinking about taking back what I said about "Face Freeze". '''Sandy: '''What are you doin' with these here freeloaders? Question: isn't one of those freeloaders your friend? When SpongeBob tries to eat the stuff, Sandy stops him. '''Sandy: '''This here's a psychological test to see how much weird gunk folks will eat... if it's free. Wow! I mean, fucking WOW! Hey, Sandy? Don't you think that the homeless might wanna try the free food? Also, don't you think that scientists should have some kind of morality? This is something that Plankton would be doing, or should be doing. NOT YOU!! Hell, Andrew Ryan wouldn't do shit like that! Then we get... '''Sandy: SpongeBob, you're a mess. You're falling apart. brain with his eyes falls out of his head. GET IT!? You probably thought that they already used all those fucking jokes, but NO! They still got a few, they were saving that one! Sandy tells SpongeBob that he needs to get a new job. When he tells Patrick this, the mutated head thing smack talks him. punches the face with an audio clip from asdfmovie6. Guy: '''I'm going to punch your face! '''IN THE FACE! SpongeBob makes his muscle go away and... SpongeBob: 'I'm ready! Whoo-hoo! Holy shit...! Did-did he really say that? '''SpongeBob: '''I'm ready! gloriously It's like a voice from the heavens! '''SpongeBob: '♪I'm ready, I'm ready for a new job, for a new job♪ It almost sounds like Tom Kenny has had a practice saying SpongeBob's supposed catchphrase. Unfortunately, that's the highlight of this episode. Now it goes downhill, extremely fast! Instead of ripping off one episode, we got a ripoff TWO now! SpongeBob goes into a hot dog place and the writers pretty much shrink "Krusty Dogs". Unfortunately, SpongeBob can't cook anything but Krabby Patties; you know, the entire conflict from "Le Big Switch"! It's gonna help pad out the episode! The hot dog guy is not pleased. And neither is the pizza guy, the taco guy, or the noodle guy! By the way, each of these processes were as long as the first one. SpongeBob goes home and once again remembers to feed Gary. Unfortunately, they're out of snail food. So, SpongeBob needs to make some of his own. Let me guess: he accidentally makes a Krabby Patty. Actually no! He makes a can of snail food. Then why the fuck couldn't he make the other food like he was supposed to!? Gary likes it, and despite SpongeBob placing all the contents at Gary's bowl, AND the can in the trash, Patrick somehow has some and he likes it, too. '''SpongeBob: towards Gary What's that, Gary? It's the best food you've ever had? Gary: Meow. So, does SpongeBob start selling snail food and become a corporate mastermind? NOPE! He gets kidnapped by the hotdog people. That subplot goes absolutely nowhere! In fact, it's completely forgotten about from this point forward. Apparently, the hot dog guy regretted their decision to fire SpongeBob. Call him back and say that it was a misunderstanding. You don't have to fucking KIDNAP HIM!! Mr. Weiner: '''The important thing is my customers love your little sliders. You mean the ones that you threw on the floor? '''SpongeBob: '''I'm pretty sure this is illegal. Nothing that you are used to, SpongeBob! The pizza guy frees SpongeBob AND kidnaps him! You know where this is going: the noodle guy and the taco guy ALSO tried kidnapping SpongeBob, despite the former throwing SpongeBob's food out at him and the latter having SpongeBob's food sprays customer in the face. All of a sudden, the burger superhero comes by and saves SpongeBob by destroying the other food. It's not as exciting as it sounds. '''Noodleman: SpongeBob It's the Killer Patty! So, is this is a common occurrence then? Bikini Bottom apparently now has a patty superhero! The hot dog gives up and gets hit by a bus! of Plankton trying to get run over from "One Coarse Meal" Eugh, "One Coarse Meal" flashbacks... The Killer Patty takes SpongeBob back to the Krusty Krab, because Mr. Krabs sucks as a chef. Apparently, it was Squidward in the costume. Who knew that he could brawl like that? Oh wait, he can't, at all! They want SpongeBob back and, SpongeBob, this is where you tell Mr. Krabs to fuck off; You're able to make Grade A snail food, which you can continue to make and sell, probably making a great living off of, while the guy who fired you for a FUCKING NICKEL goes out of business! But no, annoyed the Status Quo is god... You know what, that is my new least favorite cliche; you're off the hook, mopey-dopey love talk! In a BLATANT recycling of the beginning of the episode, SpongeBob starts cleaning up the restaurant and puts Squidward in a dress. If this episode has anything, fucking ANYTHING, it's that that's the extent of misery that Squidward goes through. I mean, they could have easily hit him with that door! First time I watched this, I thought he phased through it. For some reason, the Krusty Krab gets all the customers back that were chased off, including the guys who kidnapped SpongeBob! No, that doesn't make any sense, at all. Unless they're gonna try to kidnap SpongeBob AGAIN afterwards. Oh, and Mr. Krabs, because he couldn't afford to lose a fucking nickel, put in a pay toilet, which probably cost hundreds of dollars to install. Before I show you guys this Animated Atrocities notepage, I want to show you the one for "One Coarse Meal". Remember that the higher the number, the worse the episode is. for "1 Night in Gottlieb" Now, here's the one for "1 Night in Gottlieb"; an episode from the worst cartoon ever made. "SpongeBob, You're Fired!" Now, here's the one for "SpongeBob, You're Fired!"! If "The Splinter" was the point where the show officially needed to die, this is the point where NICKELODEON officially needs to die! Let's hope they take Viacom with it when they do. Category:Transcripts Category:Animated Atrocities Category:Season 2